hemlockecho (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} hemlockecho) wrote,@ 2005-04-19 17:40:00 |
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Snarky Pamphlet review
I used to write for a website (nowadays, it would be called a blog, but no one used the term back then) that consisted of snarky reviews of random items that one came across: post cards, pamphlets, receipts, etc. Anyway, with that in mind, I got a really cool pamphlet today that I felt needed some commenting on:
Getting Married? -Learn about HIV and AIDS
My friend got ordained as a minister so that he could preform the wedding ceremony for a couple that he knows. When he got ordained and certified by the state, he was given a pamphlet called "Getting Married? -Learn about HIV and AIDS" to give to the engaged couple, but which he passed on to me (and, presumably, let his friends get married without knowing the facts about AIDS).
In order for this pamphlet to help protect you from AIDS, you must meet at least 2 of the following conditions:
1.) You have not yet had sex with your fiance.
2.) Your fiance is a slut or a reformed homosexual.
3.) You use the pamphlet as a condom.
The other thing that makes this pamphlet useless: It was written with 10 year-olds in mind. All of the information comes with campy stock images to illustrate the points, reminiscent of a Sunday School Chick Tract. Check out the hipster guys doing drugs. Its obvious that they use drugs because 1.)the first guy is wearing sunglasses and a vest jacket while injecting himself with a needle and 2.) the other guy has a mullet and is wearing a sport coat over his t-shirt; so clearly they're AIDs junkies. If your fiance wears vest jackets, has a mullet, or otherwise looks like a Miami Vice character, you might want to rethink your engagement.
A woman tries to use telepathy to determine if her fiance has HIV.
This image is to illustrate to you that if you do have AIDS, you should drink bleach and kill yourself, and not pass it on to your unsuspecting virgin wife, you sick homo-sex-pervert.
Also, there is that lie at the bottom that says "Using alcohol or other drugs can cause you to have sex without using a condom." Now that is a blatantly untrue statement. Its sad that our government has to stoop to spreading its propaganda through priests. I mean, I've been binge drinking alcohol for as long as I can remember and I haven't gotten laid in over 6 months. Obviously there must be something more to the equation that just drinking.
Here's the best part, buried beneath a long list of instructions on how to use a condom, we have a helpful reminder:
What other ways are there to show love? I thought blood was the only way!
I used to write for a website (nowadays, it would be called a blog, but no one used the term back then) that consisted of snarky reviews of random items that one came across: post cards, pamphlets, receipts, etc. Anyway, with that in mind, I got a really cool pamphlet today that I felt needed some commenting on:
Getting Married? -Learn about HIV and AIDS
My friend got ordained as a minister so that he could preform the wedding ceremony for a couple that he knows. When he got ordained and certified by the state, he was given a pamphlet called "Getting Married? -Learn about HIV and AIDS" to give to the engaged couple, but which he passed on to me (and, presumably, let his friends get married without knowing the facts about AIDS).
In order for this pamphlet to help protect you from AIDS, you must meet at least 2 of the following conditions:
1.) You have not yet had sex with your fiance.
2.) Your fiance is a slut or a reformed homosexual.
3.) You use the pamphlet as a condom.
The other thing that makes this pamphlet useless: It was written with 10 year-olds in mind. All of the information comes with campy stock images to illustrate the points, reminiscent of a Sunday School Chick Tract. Check out the hipster guys doing drugs. Its obvious that they use drugs because 1.)the first guy is wearing sunglasses and a vest jacket while injecting himself with a needle and 2.) the other guy has a mullet and is wearing a sport coat over his t-shirt; so clearly they're AIDs junkies. If your fiance wears vest jackets, has a mullet, or otherwise looks like a Miami Vice character, you might want to rethink your engagement.
A woman tries to use telepathy to determine if her fiance has HIV.
This image is to illustrate to you that if you do have AIDS, you should drink bleach and kill yourself, and not pass it on to your unsuspecting virgin wife, you sick homo-sex-pervert.
Also, there is that lie at the bottom that says "Using alcohol or other drugs can cause you to have sex without using a condom." Now that is a blatantly untrue statement. Its sad that our government has to stoop to spreading its propaganda through priests. I mean, I've been binge drinking alcohol for as long as I can remember and I haven't gotten laid in over 6 months. Obviously there must be something more to the equation that just drinking.
Here's the best part, buried beneath a long list of instructions on how to use a condom, we have a helpful reminder:
What other ways are there to show love? I thought blood was the only way!
